Old Organic Hippie Earth Mother

I have an annual contract with a pest control company for an annual termite-monitoring service. I don't relish the thought that we've had to have poison pumped into the foundation, but it's fairly important, given that so much of my house is wood, and we certainly have seen termites around here in the past.

So the other day, my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, but it was a local number, and I thought it might be someone I know, so I answered the call. Turns out it was a man calling from a lawn-treating company. (Notice how carefully I'm not giving the names of the companies?)

He said something like, "This is So-and-So with X-Y-Z Lawn Treating Company, and bla bla bla in your area and bla bla bla pre-emergent. Bla bla bla pre-emergent, and since you are a customer of Bla-Bla Pest Control Service, we can make you such a deal..."

To which I replied, "Well, I appreciate you thinkin' about me, but I live on an acreage out here, and I'm sort of an old organic hippie Earth Mother... "

Didn't even get to finish my sentence, but I had gotten that much out, and as soon as he heard that, I heard him saying, "Okay, thank you for your time [click]."

I'm guessing he must've talked to old organic hippie Earth Mothers before. I don't know if he wanted to avoid a lecture, or if he just didn't feel like trying to talk me into something I wasn't going to do anyway. My friend Kent pointed out that the guy probably thought he was talking to the owner of one of those huge three-quarter-million-dollar homes-on-two-acres that are sprouting up all around me. They tend to be more the Perfect-Lawn types. 

No, fella, I'm a bigger acreage, smaller house. Being on well water here, I am poignantly aware of the concept of, "You dump it, you drink it," so, no, I am not interested in bringing more poison onto the place. An Old Organic Hippie Earth Mother, I am.

Astonishingly effective, that phrase, "Old Organic Hippie Earth Mother." I may have to try it in other situations.