Days Like This

I'm grateful that most days aren't like this one.

It's a pretty enough day, sun shining, and all, but everything reminds me of Steve. Every freaking thing. I want to tell him this, show him that, ask him about something else. Then the (expletives deleted) hospital is badgering me for that last few dollars, which reminds me that the business office was CALLING HIM IN HIS ROOM, GOING UP TO BADGER HIM for a fairly hefty payment before he left the hospital.

Always trying to bring light to a situation, he said he told the woman he was sorry, but he didn't think to tuck the checkbook into his pocket when he had the heart attack. When he had to ask me to call the ambulance. When he actually Followed the Light to the Other Side before the ambulance arrived. No, grabbing a checkbook on the way out the door wasn't even at the bottom of his list, it wasn't on his list at all. Mine either, for that matter.

So I guess I'm actually still angry about the insistent woman badgering him for money -  a weakened, sick man, died at home before the ambulance even arrived, they had to zap him with the defib on the way to the hospital, spent the night in the cath lab, still in the CCU, for crying out loud, and this woman is pestering him for money as if he'd bought one of those pay-day loan cars on 29th Street, "When can I expect a payment?" Now they're sending bills with (expletive deleted) on them like "We... sincerely hope (you enjoyed your stay)" or whatever. Liars. (Expletives deleted) liars! Lousy effing greedy corporate bastard liars! (got tired of deleting expletives)

So there's all that, and every freaking thing in my life reminds me of Steve, which reminds me that he's not here any more, which reminds me how much I miss him which reminds me how much I wish he were here. Most days I can trudge through okay. Most days - and then there's today. I'm driving the Kilpatrick turnpike opening the car windows and taking deep breaths to try to keep from breaking down in tears because I'm driving in traffic and I have to see people today and talk to them. I'm pretty sure they'll understand if I 'm sad, but it really is actually difficult to carry on a conversation when you're blubbering. That's the kind of day today is.

I "closed" the business we had together because it's nothing without him, but I have to leave the company checking account open until one more check comes in, so I called those folks again. It's on the Workman's Comp policy. There's a "minimum payroll" the owners have to meet, and in the final audit they charged up to the same minimum for Steve that they did for me, even though he was dead about half of that time. They said I could appeal it - the woman I spoke to was very kind - but that is yet MORE paperwork and MORE delay and on this day I just can't bear it. I just can't. I'm played out over that damn hospital (don't get me started again....).

And then I get the sweetest thing in the mail. I go open the mailbox and there's this sweet little yellow envelope addressed to Aunt Vicki.  I have no idea, no way of knowing how she could have known this would be exactly what I needed today. It was from my niece Melissa, this pretty little envelope in her beautiful, tidy penmanship, a little slip of paper that simply says,

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could."

                                                            ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

It actually makes me cry harder each time I read it, and yet at the same time is somehow oddly reassuring. I've tucked the slip of paper in the frame with the picture of Steve crossing his heart with his hammer, taken the day he nailed up the last piece of redwood clapboard siding onto the house.

Okay. Deep breath, drink some water, wipe face off. I still have a lot of stuff to do today, and more tomorrow. 'Fraid I'm probably not through crying yet, but maybe I can get on through the rest of the day now.

Thank you for reading.

Lupin Flour

My daughter asked me, “Hey, Mom, do you remember posting a link about changing your flour from standard wheat to some other kind of … well … flour and you can change your health? Do you remember anything about that, like what was the other kind of flour or anything?”

 

I did remember posting something like that and I thought it was something unusual that one might have to order online, might not be easily available locally. I looked through my own facebook timeline for said post, but there are so many posts there I couldn’t find it either. I thought it might be Spelt, but that is a grain  (with gluten) and I was pretty sure that wasn’t the one she was looking for. Then I thought, coconut? and I found some links, but I didn’t think that was it either. Then I searched my own computer for the term “flour” and came up with something about Lupin flour. I think that is the one my daughter is asking about. Here is the link of which I believe she was inquiring: http://wrightnewsletter.com/2011/07/07/lower-heart-disease/

 

Lupin flour looks pretty promising. There are some “be-carefuls” regarding lupin flour, though: the article recommends the diet be changed to 40% lupin flour rather than a total conversion.  Part of the reason may be that lupins contain certain isoflavones and alkaloids that can be beneficial up to a certain point, but potentially toxic in large doses. See more information here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lupinus.  It is also noted that people who have allergies to peanuts should probably avoid lupin beans (and lupin flour) as well. I’ve never noticed lupin flour in the health food store (but I wasn’t looking for it).  If you’re interested in trying it, I suggest asking your local health food store first. if that doesn’t turn anything up, check with Irwin Valley, an Australian company specializing in lupin products.

 

Best wishes, and if you pursue lupin flour, please let me know how it goes for you!

 

Thanks for reading,

Vicki

 

 

Tires and road hazards

Somewhere in my recent travels, either on the way back from Georgia or shortly after I got back, I hit a really bad pothole. I thought at the time, YIKES! It was so bad, I was actually surprised it didn't blow out. Surprised, but certainly grateful!

But then I forgot about it until the other night, when I picked Annie up from the vet's. On the way to the car, I noticed a couple of scary looking bubbles on the side of my tire and a dark scuff mark on the rim. Holy cow! Sure scared me. I carefully drove home and did not drive my little scoot again until today when I brought her up to Hibdon's for some new shoes.

Monkey River Tour

Robert's Grove, where we are staying, is about four miles north of Placencia, Belize and the mouth of the Monkey River is about fourteen miles down the coast from Placencia.

On this day we went to the marina at eight AM to meet our guide who took us by boat the eighteen miles down the coast to where the Monkey River meets the Atlantic Ocean. We rode through mangrove swamps and open ocean to get there. He's been operating these tours for some thirty years and really seemed to enjoy stopping to point out crocodiles, herons & egrets, plant species, and places where mankind had altered the environment in some way that produced an unintended outcome.

At the mouth of the Monkey River is a little village, population: 310. We pulled into a dock there where we took a potty stop and ordered lunch, and our choices were beans and rice with fried or baked fish, or baked chicken. Then we got back on the boat and went about eight miles up river. Along the way our guide pointed out many kinds of flora and fauna.

Morning Glories grow wild and prolifically along the river banks. We saw their purplish pink flowers as far up the river as we went and beyond.

We saw a particular type of grassy weed, one of the plants they use in thatching their roofs (rooves?). We saw yellow bamboo that grows in huge thickets along the riverside. We saw Great Blue Herons, Snowy Egrets, "regular" white egrets, a juvenile Tiger Egret, several crocs, turtles that look like giant versions of the little ones we grew up with in our terrariums, a big old' snappin' turtle, cormorants, frigate birds, pelicans and so many other birds I can't even remember them all, and even a pair of tiny brown proboscis bats that had bunked for the day on a bare tree stem in the river.

About eight miles up the river we pulled over and parked alongside some other boats and disembarked. We had already been warned to wear closed-toed shoes and to spray everyp centimeter of exposed skin with bug repellant and so we were ready. We walked carefully through the woods, stopping every now and then so our guide could explain or point something out. The monkeys we saw were howler monkeys. Pretty little black things, about the size of an extra-large domestic cat, maybe a little larger. They make their way through the canopy and never offered to come down or to make themselves more visible to us Relatively small creatures to make as much noise as they do! Here and again you'd hear a guide hollering his special sound to elicit a response from the howler monkeys, and their responses were dramatic! The path was quite muddy and we saw even more interesting things in that jungle, which I might tell you about another time because right now I am very tired. It's been a busy and exciting day and I'd like to see if I can get some sleep now.

Sunday in Belize

Last night was World Famous BBQ night here at the resort and after dinner some of the younger ones in our party (younger than me!) ventured down to the village to check out a local joint called The Barefoot Bar. Seems a good time was had by all and they put in a pretty late night while they were at it. In the various narratives of their adventure this morning, they all allowed as how The Barefoot was not only a bar, but had some pretty decent eats, too.

So today some of the older ones of us allowed ourselves to be spirited down to the village to see what we could see. The resort called ia taxi for us and our first stop was a place called Tutti Frutti, which is an ice-cream & gellati (sp?) place. They had frozen treats in many favors. I got a cone with lime and kiwi flavored scoops.

After Tutti Frutti, we walked back up the main thoroughfare toward The Barefoot Bar. Being Sunday, many places were closed, but we did find a very patient vendor from whom we collectively purchased over $200.00 (USD) worth of clothing and accessories.

An aside: I joke about "island time" --
--"What time is it?"
--"it doesn't really matter...."
and while everyone involved does work to honor reservation and appointment times, beyond that you better just be okay with waiting because nothing happens very quickly down here, especially in food service. The best approach is one of good humored acceptance. You certainly won't make it go any faster by pitching a fit!

I am telling you, it takes for freaking EVER to get anything you ask for, and I have no idea why that is. So if you come to Belize you better come with someone you like to talk to, or else bring a really good book or three to read to occupy your mind while you're WAITING FOR FOOD. Criminy!

That said, the Tamarind Chicken Nachos I had at The Barefoot Bar were absolutely worth the wait. OMG, they were delicious! And tonight we had a seafood paella which was also dee-lish, and the best lemon merengue pie you could ever hope for in this life - mercy!

What else? Oh, we got a little rain this morning, and the sea was considerably choppier than yesterday. Tomorrow we're going on the Monkey River Tour and I'll tell about that tomorrow. That's an 8:00am-at-the-marina departure, so I'm going to wrap up & catch some z's.

Thank you for reading :)

First Full Day

Awoke to a stunning sunrise this morning. Hung around with my sisters and some of their kinder, purchased stone carvings from a local vendor - little Mayan women bring things carefully wrapped in tissue and transported in backpacks. Their calls to purchase are gentle and insistent. "Hand carved honey dish? Butter dish?Handmade wooden necklace? Bracelet to match? Anklet for your daughter?" (Sorry, Misty, if you want an ankle I'll make you one.) My brother-in-law David got a three-strand wooden bracelet that looks like a watch band from across the table (only it doesn't have a face) and he says, "This is my new watch, how do you like it? Yes, it's Island time!" Funny David :)
My sisters talked me into getting into the water, and I did. Don't think I got too sunburned either, so that's good. Soon as I finish this post I'm going to go to Robert's Grove's World Famous Saturday night BBQ with my fam.

Going to Belize

OKC to Houston
Houston to Belize
You have forms the airline people have you, one because you're a visitor and one for customs.
When you get off the plane on Belize you go into the terminal and there's a sign indicating returning residents over here, visitors over there, and signs saying "NO PHOTOGRAPHY" with icons one each of a camera and a cell phone with the red circle and line indicating, "NO!" I pulled out my trusty iPhone to post a check-in and discovered that I have NO SERVICE, so I am creating this blog post offline, to post when (if?) I get maybe some wifi at the resort.
Anyway, you stand in one of these first lines and give your visitor form. Make sure you've filled out ALL the blanks!
Then you go retrieve your checked luggage. BE SURE TO CHECK YOUR LUGGAGE TAGS! On this trip there were TWO sets of identical bags belonging to different people. One set found their rightful owners (because they read the tags) but the other set - the guy did NOT read the tag and ran off (seriously, the dude shot right outa there) with my niece's bag. I guess he looked inside after he got to the next place and found mommy clothes and baby gear because he came back to see where HIS bag was. So. Always read your tags.
Got through customs without incident and headed over to the connecting terminal, which actually sounds a bit uppity, comparing this airport to, say, Houston. BTW, there's a little shop in there that sells the "world's best ice-cream," which you can tell because they have a sign that says so (Elf). They charge a 75 cent baggage check fee before you can get back on an airplane. It's all very casual (compared to Certain Other Places) and quite an adventure so far.
We caught (more than one) fourteen passenger puddle jumpers over to the resort, one of which I am riding as I compose this post. I am going to stop now and look out the window and enjoy the view as we fly along the coastline.
L8er....